Super Mudders

One year ago the Green Ranger ninja'd his way through 5 miles of mountain and obstacles with Batgirl at his side. Six months later Deadpool laughed his way through 12 miles of bitter November in the garden state. Two weeks ago Iron Man revisited the Green Ranger's 5 miles of  conquered mountain and found it had taken steroids to become a beast unlike any other. No, this is not a tale out of a comic book but rather a tale of blood, sweat, and beer. What I am writing about is in fact the good ol Tough Mudder. For those of you who don't know what a Tough Mudder is, I have written about the Tough Mudder in a previous post.

On April 9th 2011, I participated in my 3rd Tough Mudder event with the team (aka "Super Mudders") at Bear Creek Resort in Pennsylvania. This was the same location as the very first Tough Mudder which we completed so we assumed we knew what to expect. We were in far better shape and survived the 12 frigid miles of Tough Mudder Tristate and were prepared to utterly crush this Bear Creek course for a 2nd time on a nice warm April Saturday. I mean, after Tough Mudder Tristate how hard could this be, especially minus the cold factor that forced many in New Jersey to be taken out of the event. Little did we know that this would be a grueling test of guts and glory; pain and more pain.

Our first surprise was provided by good old mother nature who dumped a fresh layer of snow on the mountain just a week before the event and soaked us with rain the day before. The mountain would greet us in the downcast morning with ice and slush all over it's treacherous slopes. So much for warm April frolicking.

Late. That is how we began. Our start time was 10:20 and after getting our bibs and getting numbered we found ourselves making the climb to the start line at 10:10.  We took a quick snapshot and literally as I set foot at the back of our wave the gun blew and smoke bombs were set off. This was actually a good thing as I could not even stand on the slope with my Vibrams (I learned very quickly they had no grip on snow and I was immediately skiing) . Last Tough Mudder I made the mistake of wearing brand new shoes that were not broken in and ran without the insoles as I forgot to bring my custom insoles. Plenty of mud got in them and my feet were constantly sliding around lumps of mud in my shoes. This Tough Mudder I made the mistake of wearing Vibrams on a course with plenty of icy/snowy slopes and plenty of rocks. Pure genius.

We began so fast that we did not even realize three of our numbers were not at the start line yet and ended up starting at 10:40 (2nd team) and another five even later starting at 11:40!! (3rd team). I found out later that my brother (Superman) saw 2nd team still coming up the hill but it was too late as we were already underway before he realized we were not all together.

I (Iron Man) was in the lead pack with Green Lantern and Wolverine. We lived up to our goal of running straight to the top nonstop. The pace was set and we had smiles on our faces as we raced toward the Greased Lightning (a massive slip & slide into a frozen pool). Coming out of that first pool staring up at a black diamond hill complete with snow I realized I was wearing a 15lb weight vest by way of a soaked cotton Iron Man hoodie (I weighed it wet the next day). At the top of the hill the rest of the group were nowhere to be seen - we pressed on.

Green Lantern faced his redemption moment at the Berlin Walls as he was unable to overcome them at Tristate.  Victory!. That is all we knew for the first half of the course.  After a pretty awesome run through the woods over toppled logs/trees in our path and paths of rocks we arrived at a surprise obstacle called Blood Bath. I thought we were at a water station but found that everyone was being given a habanero pepper to eat! I bit into it and my mouth exploded and immediately I jumped into a freezing bath of red dyed pepper water. The burning in my mouth was quickly replaced by the taste of mud and rubber as I involuntarily gulped some of the water.

Meanwhile behind us was Superman and my father (Flash). My brother had the amazing luck of beginning to cramp on the 3rd mile much like my wife (Batgirl) during the first Tough Mudder who cramped up during the 1st 7 minutes! She pushed through and gutted out the rest of that original 5 mile course. She missed Tristate and this past mudder due to pregnancy but she has already signed up for 2011 Tristate at the end of the year! Superman on the other hand had to gut it out through 12 miles rather than 5.  In the process he reached a redemption moment of his own. During Tristate he did not make it at the Walk The Plank obstacle. This time however he plunged into the freezing cold water and swam his way to shore with no problem. Victory!

Soon after the Plank which I once again survived (I really must learn how to swim before the next Tough Mudder), Green Lantern began to cramp up. He told us to keep moving and he would catch up as we may cramp up from the cold as well if we did not keep moving. Green Lantern was right and I fought off calf cramps as Wolverine fought off quad cramps during what seemed like an endless run up and down and up and down rock paths in the woods. As we ran I felt my calves seizing and beginning to cramp as I pressed on. Luckily I did not cramp up but I did have the fortune of breaking my toe during the 5th or 6th mile in the woods - Vibrams and rocks are not friends. Thank you for whoever turned the "6" mile mark upside down into a "9". As I said the run was endless and Superman was excited to see "9" as he was cramping from the beginning and the course was advertised as 10 miles (total lies! it was 12!). I wish I saw his face when he ran past the mile "7" marker.

Green Lantern, Wolverine, and I were still pretty much cruising along trading comments of "man we are tearing up this course" and "I wonder if they will catch up to us - Let's not let them lol". We agreed before the event that we would try to do this one to our max and we would not wait for each other. The Tough Mudder is an event where you are never alone anyway and part of the pledge is to "help your fellow mudders complete the course".  There is always someone saying "good job" or "keep going". In the case of Green Lantern, there were even mudders who gave him some gels and a massage for his cramps.

My turning point was near the top of the mountain. Somehow my wife made her way up to the Funky Monkey (greased monkey bars over yet another freezing cold pool) to take pictures. I was amazed she came that far up the mountain to get shots. Our paparazzi are the best - if only we did not have to keep replacing them as they end up becoming participants.  The bars were pretty easy until a few rungs away from the end. Seems I forgot to take off my wedding band and it decided to take a dip into the waters below!


My wife did not know why I stopped and was just hanging there. She was even more confused when I fell in the water a couple feet from the end of the monkey bars. When I showed here my hand she knew what happened. That was not a loving face. The water seemed the coldest of the course and I was feeling on the bottom fully submerged up to the side of my face. I pictured images of Smeagol's hand reaching in the water and grasping the one ring. My wife urged me to keep going and she would jump in to find it. She must have thought I was a fool. I knew I would not leave that pool alive without my band.

I was searching while turning away fellow mudders offering me aid out of the pool. "No no I don't need help out, I need to find my wedding band" - they all looked at me like I was a dead man and continued on. I heard a small voice say "I saw it drop over there" as a child pointed at a spot behind me. I immediately headed to the spot and soon after...Victory! The crowd clapped as I yelled "NO COUCH FOR ME!".  I didn't realize what else that search in freezing water cost me until a few minutes later sliding down yet another snowy slope.

At the bottom my leg completely seized and I could not move my leg at all. Green Lantern and Wolverine ran back for me and had to forcibly stretch the cramp out. It hurt but felt great. I felt like Batman at the Tough Mudder Tristate. From this point forward I could not go more than 100 yards without my leg seizing and I would need to have the cramp stretched out (thank you Green Lantern). Wolverine had to keep going or he would have suffered the same fate. It was fine we were at mile 8-9 and there wouldn't be much more.  That's when a staffer told us that the course was longer than advertised and we had a few more miles to go after that.

We found out that the last 2 miles had the hardest of all the obstacles - probably because I was cramping so bad. I should have rested for more than a minute at a time but that minute seemed so long and I wanted to keep moving. The final 1.5 miles took us over 1 hour to complete. It was like a battlefield. There were people everywhere cramping up, laid out, and being driven down the mountain due to injury. The masses were muddied and marching up and down the mountain from obstacle to obstacle which included yet another brand new obstacle. We had to climb up a 15 foot wall by means of using human ladders and having another mudder pull us up from the top. Everyone took a turn leaning on the wall and letting someone climb on top of their thighs then shoulders. It hurt.

We also had to carry a log up a slope, climb a series of nets, and across another net during a new obstacle called the Turd's Nest. This was the only real obstacle other than the Plank where we had to wait - I would guess it was about a 10 minute delay due to bottle-necking. Tough Mudder has made huge strides in decreasing these bottle-necking moments. Right before the end of the course we had to climb one more time over bails of hay. This time I had the pleasure of cramping up 4 times in about 4 minutes. Each time I jumped up to climb a level of the hay bails my leg seized. After that it was one Electroshock Therapy obstacle before free beer and glory! At Tristate I made it through these wires without getting tagged. This time however the series of wires we had to run through was longer and there were more wires altogether. I was dropped unceremoniously and pretty much face planted due to a shock to the shoulder. It happened so fast I didn't realize why I fell until I was actually getting up.

I crossed the finish with Green Lantern. Wolverine was about 20 minutes ahead of us and the rest of the pack was still to follow. I ran into 2nd team and found out that somewhere in the woods run after the plank 2nd team had a member pulled out of the event due to a severe knee injury sustained during the Berlin Walls at the 1st mile. It just became aggravated and by this point it was time to call it.

Punisher, Superman 2, and Flash 2 were next. The cramp master himself (Superman) along with Flash came after that. We did not run into 3rd team until much later when we found out they arrived at the venue late. I was actually trying to go faster thinking they were ahead of us because we didn't see them at the start. 3rd team consisted of 2 more Supermen (we need to try and coordinate these costumes better), Wonderwoman, Batgirl, and Harry Potter. 3rd team crushed the first half of the course and were trying to catch up to no avail. They did catch sight of 2nd team at the plank but did not see them again due to the early stoppage.

All in all this 2nd time out in Bear Creek was a tremendous difference from the first Tough Mudder held there. The course was much longer, the obstacles were much harder, and there were much more of them!  Hats off to the team at Tough Mudder. It is crazy to think we are getting in better and better shape but each mudder just gets harder. I hope this trend continues and we'll have a grand old time at Tristate later this year. Look out for the heroes folks! The Super Mudders will make an appearance once again at Tristate! Maybe we'll have a run injury free for once, but there's no fun in that.